Debaucherous Adventure

by The Global Warming Extravaganza

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18:52
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04:03
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04:23
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04:54
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05:55
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05:27
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00:48
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credits

released 08 March 2011

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Mark Hawkins - vocals, guitar, bass, keyboards, drum programming, satan

Matt Henderson - vocals, guitar, bass, keyboards, satan

Christopher T. Bottomsworth - vocals, bass

Jake Hohenzollern - keyboards, vocals

Visit us on Facebook!
www.facebook.com/theglobalwarmingextravaganza

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Artwork by: Mike C. Bauer
www.facebook.com/MCBauerDesigns

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Track Name: Evolution
Prof. Zootinsky - Good evening ladies and gentleman and thank-you for coming to the archeological site. Please watch your feet that you don’t step on the bones of the Ankleosauraus, the Apatasauraus, the Baronix, the Compsgnathus the Lambiosauraus, the Myosera the Parasurofalus The Plesiosauraus my personal favorite the Ranfarenkeous the Sizemasauraus the Stegasauras or the Velociraptor. Please listen to our special guest Richard Dawkins as pardon the pun he has the most bone chilling discovery,…hmmm

Prof. Dawkins - We have searched through the fossil records…excuse me…fossil recooords. And found that cavemen did indeed make music. WE have brought their music up to modern production standards. This is a fossilized song…

Cavemen -- Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa BLaaaaa Blaaaaaa…..yom yom….its a yom yom. Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa BLaaaaa Blaaaaaa…..yom yom….its a yom yom…WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Part 2 The Birth of Life

Mark – This is the story of evolution!!! 1 Billion B.C. a volcano erupted and created life, from a single cell we evolved into the beings known as homo sapiens…and soon we shall evolve into GODS.

Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble….GODS!!!

The Real Richard Dawkins – The Darwinian explanation, which is so stunningly elegant and powerful. You realize you don’t need any kind of supernatural force to explain it.

Matt –

Evolve into Gods!!!!
Feeling summer upon my skin the sun fuels evolution
Feeling summer upon my skin the son fools evolution

Zutes –

Progress…. Upright Walking….Faster…More Powerful More Agile…less wisdom teeth…improved intelligence (noises)…..interspecies relationships, telekinesis, more aquatic breathe ability….Gills (GILLS)….Fins (FINS)…Kevin Fucking Costner


Part 3 The Rise of Man

Early Man -

Yea life is good in the Garden of Eden
I walk around on my own two feet
Picking Fruit…Drinking Juice
I’m my own man I do what I Want
And I fuck who I fuck
I’m gonna eat all your motherfucking fruit

The First Authority -

Hold it right there…that is not how we eat fruit.
Follow my commands and learn how to properly eat fruit
And remember Give me money

Historian -

They Hi-jack the information highway
They Will destroy all the books
And replace evolution with SATAN
This is how religion really works

Oh no Im falling!!!!!!!
Ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Be calm my son you are not falling
You will worship the God of
Da dipida doom badapadoom
You will say his name over and over in a mantra
Until he appears for you and brings you gifts
You will then dance with Da dipida doom badapadoom

Say his name

Dipida Doom Badapa doom, Dipida Doom Badapa doom, Dipi dipi dipida doom badapadoom, Dipida Doom BadapaDipi dipi dipi (x2)

I am Da Dipida Doom Badapadoom
Why have you awakened me from my slumber?
Oh let me guess You want me to bring you gifts.
If it is the material lifestyle you desire then you seek the path of SATAN

The Duality of Satan
Is he’s one with information
Does he corrupt or teach the truth
Will he love or butt-fuck you
(Oh my god might be Satan)

From the spiritual experience we move on to the emotional experience
We present genus and phylum: Emoticus Sliticus Bleedicus

My heart was waiting for you
My soul was as black as the moon (like a lunar eclipse)
And everywhere I go
My heart still roams
So you won’t lead me down (you wont lead me down)
You won’t lead me down that dead end road

But to teach children that it is a fact that there is one god
That is child abuse
it is certainly elitist what is wrong with an elitist
Fairies and the flying spaghetti monster etc. etc. etc.
The more educated you are the more likely you are to be an atheist

Feeling my mind
Growing up and reaching into the sky
Sheltered from this everlasting truth that I now
See

I used to be a monkey (yeah)
I came down from the trees
And I learned to play heavy metal
Silly little monkeys know that they were born to thrash

Along our evolutionary journey we present a more primitive form of metal…
Genus and phylum: Thrashicus afarensicus
Known to get really wasted on Natural Light and cut off their jeans into shorts
These early homo sapiens play fast, live hard, and die young
BUT THEY WERE BORN TO…

THRASH!!
BORN TO THRASH!!
DRINK NATTY LIGHT!!!
BORN TO THRASH
DRINK NATTY…DRINK NATTY LIGHT!!!!!

GO!!!

The emergence of Dimebag Darrel changed metal forever
Hey Dimebag can you do one of those squeely things????
Sure thing little buddy

The Global Warming Extravaganza Commands you to take drugs!!!
sliding down the snow while sitting on a log the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
Don’t take drugs and listen to Phish it will stunt your evolution!!!
sliding down the snow while sitting on a log the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
The Bass Player of Phish Rapes little girls in back alleys!!!
sliding down the snow while sitting on a log the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog

You can’t believe what you’ve read
You can’t believe what’s been told to you
Forever and ever and ever and ever again
You can’t believe what’s been sold to you
Forever and ever and ever with him in Heaven

You know that Jesus would
Want you to
Take mushrooms
And Evolve
Into Him
A Shaman of the Meats
Bring the Funk
To my Motherfucking feet (x2)

Sometimes things go horribly wrong in evolution and extremely violent species develop
The drugs made Hitler Go Crazy….

Yon ton rape-a-lation
Of the insane population
Yon ton rape-a-lation yoooooo
Breeding the purest of race
To preserve this Arian Nation
Yon ton rape-a-lation yoooooo
Breeding the purest of race
To preserve this Arian Nation YOOOOOO

Do you believe?
We came from nothing?
Do you believe?
That we came from nothing?
Do you believe? (It was written in the stars)
That We Came From nothing (That we would become Gods)
Do you believe?
That we came from Nothing?

Moment of enlightenment

Good evening ladies and gentlemen it is time for the Secret News…..

Here it is the Secret News:

All people are afraid
No one knows what they’re doing
And everything is always getting worse
Some people deserve to die
Your money is worthless
And no one is properly rehearsed
Remember at least one of your children will disappoint you
The system is rigged
So your house will never be completely clean
Teachers are very incompetent
and remember…
There are people who dislike you because you’re a faggot
Nothing is good, as it seems
And things don’t last
No one is paying attention to you
And the country is dying
But remember….
God doesn’t care

Your god is selfish pitiful coward
Nothing like my god
Allah!!!
My god is #1
His foreskin can devour the sun

Pray to Allah and Muhammad and to Jihad
Kill the Infidel with a Koran
For Allah

We live in a Jihad
Jihad!!!
Enter into paradise with fire!!!
From a Jihad
Jihad!!!

So in the end the Muslim race shall prevail
Thy are the most relentless and they have the most knives
Masterful in their sorcery and wisdom
But what does the prophet Muhammad look like
I shall describe him to you as I met him on the field of battle
And so it begins…
Muhammad is about 5’8
220 pounds soaking wet
He has the most beautiful blue eyes you have ever seen on a male or female
His overgrown scrotum acts as a marsupial pouch
Where he can shield himself from the hot desert sun
and Allah likes it too….

Take a look around and you will find the answer it is right under your little nose
Please utilize your puny brain
Track Name: Meat Mountain
Meat Mountain:

Hey Kids! Are you tired of weak sandwiches with sparse meat coverage? (I'm still hungry!) Then stamp your passport to Meatropolis, strap on your harness and scale the summit of Meat Mountain (Meat Mountain).

You have never faced a mountain so daunting, so brutal, so meaty. Chock full of ham, beef, prime rib, panda, tubesteak, armadillo, bear, alligator, smothered with head cheese and topped off with chunks on monkey.

Can I have that on wheat bread?

FUCK YOU. Meat Mountain is served with Del Monaco steaks as bread you vegan pussy. Don't take my word for it. Summon the Shaman of the meats!

Close your eyes. Imagine pulsating through your third eye...we call upon the shaman of

the meats...to prey upon the flesh of the wicked...(Random chanting)

The Shaman says that we do not deserve the meat that we eat. But, he will accept your offering. Even if your meat is...funky.

BAM!!! I'm the shaman of the meats mothafucka! Get down on my mothafuckin meeeaaaatttt! HUH! (Random scat) Take it to da bridge....UNGH

I said BOOM, mothafucka eat the meat...turn it into doo doo
BOOM, mothafucka eat the meat...boom turn it into doo doo
I said BOOM, mothafucka eat the meat...turn it into doo doo
BOOM, mothafucka eat the meat...boom turn it into doo doo

Yo they say eat the meat I got a meat Bentley with meat rims they...22 inches large...got a meat cell phone with a meat app. It's ringin right now let me check it (ring). Yo it's my nigga More-Meat-pheus from the meatrix...plug yourself in...

I am More-Meat-pheus and I will be your tour guide through the meatrix. You are presented with a choice you must take. You must either eat the red steak, or the blue steak. Eat the red steak and find out how far the rabbit meat goes! Or eat the blue steak and return to your life as normal. Starring Keanu Reeves as...THE MEAT.

HA HA HA HA You have eaten the red steak and in turn have chose the meatiest of climaxes. Prepare to meet the meaty creator of the meatrix and drink meat tea.

I'm the mayor of Meatropolis and I want to show you my meats...YEAH. Garcon! Hand me the MEAT LIST. We got red meat, white meat, yellow meat black meat, blue meat. We got alligator meat and hamster meat, snake meat, rabbit meat, hippopotamus meat, panda bear meat, bald eagle meat. We've got...every kind of meat. And all this month, try our exclusive deal on MONKEY MEAT!!! (monkey noises)

For those of you unable to make it to meatropolis, we've developed new technology to deliver Meat Mountains directly to your doorstep. Introducing...THE MEAT CATAPULT! OR, take our meat home with you in our 50 pound DEHYDRATED MEAT CUBE. Every Friday night there will be live MMA fighting! (Keeeeyaaawwwww)

And now, our spokesperson...Lady Meat Meats...
Can't eat my, can't eat my, no you can't eat my meat mountain
(It's killed 4 Man vs. Food hosts)
Can't eat my, can't eat my, no you can't eat my meat mountain
(Delivered with a meat catapult)
Pa pa pa pa pot roast
Pa pa pa pa pot roast
Ma ma ma ma maaa
Pa pa pa pa pot roast
Pa pa pa pa pot roast
Ma ma ma ma maaa

You must kill all vegetarians...and eat their meat!
Their blasphemous vegan lifestyle, tainted souls, eat their meat!

Climbin up to meat mountain. Drinkin from the water fountain. Got 16 pounds of mothafuckin monkey meat! Climbin up to meat mountain. Drinkin from the water fountain. Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma MEAT.
Ma ma ma ma Meat mountain. Drinkin from the water fountain.
Got 16 pounds of mothafuckin monkey meat!
Climbin up to meat mountain. Drinkin from the water fountain.
Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma MEAT

As the mayor's personal assistant, I cordially invite you to the new room at meatropolis where you SLAUGHTER YOUR OWN MEAT! (More animal noises and chainsaw noises)

When you're young and you want lots of meat, there is only one place to eat.
That's meatropolis (meatropolis)
Meatropolis (meatropolis)
Yum yum yum yum yum yum please taste our meat at meatropolis.
(Gimme a Meatar solo!)

Don't contemplate the size of your meat. It doesn't matter, eat more meat.
Don't contemplate the size of your meat. yeah yeah, eat more meat. It grows on trees.

Yeah.

If you've made it this far into the song...congratulations! The Global Warming

Extravaganza would like to thank you, by sponsoring a meat orgy....in your honor.
Track Name: Zombie Petting Zoo
ZOMBIE PETTING ZOO

Aye ye lads and lasses on three! 1 2 3
Grab your lads and your lass the little tykes
Take your whacken club to prevent a bite.
We'll go down and have a merry time at the zombie petting zoo.
There's cows and squirrels and Weedly mice
There's a goat that likes to smell you
And we'll ALL go down and have a pint at the Zombie Petting Zoo

Cuz Zombie's will get ya juicy...and then they'll eat ya pussy (x2)
The undead got that chronic, but they can't touch my phonics
I'll grind on all their bitches, and give them a colonic

Jumpin on that train, feastin on Zombie brains...at the pettin zoo
....Nigga what you gonna do

Cuz Zombie's will get ya juicy...and then they'll eat ya pussy (x2) pussy pussy pussy
Pussy BRAINS
BRAINS, BRAINS an all you can eat buffet of brains
BRAINS, BRAINS even more fun than eating a human BRAINS
BRAINS, BRAINS just because we eat humans doesn't mean we can't play with cute animals

Fill up your pint, Sheer the sheep and sing the song again!!
Grab your lads and your lass the little tykes
Take your whacken club to prevent a bite.
We'll go down and have a merry time at the zombie petting zoo.
There's cows and squirrel and Weedly mice
There's a goat that likes to smell you
And we'll ALL go down and have a pint at the Zombie Petting Zoo

Cuz Zombie's will get ya juicy...and then they'll eat ya pussy (x2) pussy pussy pussy
Sippin on mah purple drank, sniffin on that pussy stank
Bumpin to my fly beats, pettin animals I meet
Zombie's chewin on my arm while I'm chillin at the farm
They're tryin to eat a fool, it's a bad pettin zoo

Well I'm rollin 30 deep with some 22s, you be fuckin mad hoes if you step in my shoes. But you shot a blank, you stank. And I'm HIGH ON CRANK! Zombies be smokin that dank
Cuz Zombie's will get ya juicy...and then they'll eat ya pussy (x2) pussy pussy pussy

YAAAAAAA
This petting zoo is owned by SATAN YAAAAAAAAAAAA
That's why Zombies are welcome in

Heed my word children, when you're making the choice of the petting zoo you're going to attend this weekend. Don't frequent the petting zoo zombies also frequent. It's a hazard to your health and everyone around you. Hell you might lose a limb, get bit and turn into a zombies yourself. And They'll probably eat the animals. Plus, they have better animals down the street. So get your pet on...the SAFE way.
Track Name: The Global Warming Extravaganza
The Global Warming Extravaganza:

Foreword:

Xenu:

Hahahahaha

John Redneck:

Man, sure as shit I understand what that Global Warming thing was…and I used to think that Al Gore was a fucking faggot, I was like “that boys from Tennessee and he’s gonna fucking preach at me and do what?” But turns out faggot liberals aren’t really faggots….

I’ve gone hip
I’ve gone green
And this motherfucker is about to go crazy
What it is…is
You take a shoe
Throw it in the river for about a couple of weeks
And BAMM
That’s Global Warming

Chapter 1: The Willfully Ignorant

BAMM Global Warming
Say spray your hairspray can
And toss a plastic bottle in the fire…YEA!!!
Do an 8-ball burn your tires
The liberals are fucking liars
Oh man

Ba Ba Ba Barrack Hussein Obama man
That niggaz’ the sauce dawg
If he came on a fucking cracker id eat it
Shit
That niggaz’ the shiz-nit

Frenchman:

Aww you Americans should be more like us French
We drive hybrid cars…so should you!!!
You’re too busy sitting around eating transitional fats and producing garbage
You Americans are such Garbage (Burp)

Americans:

Fat and slow we inject mayonnaise in our veins (burp)
Fat and slow we’re eating deep fried gravy cakes
Eating deep fried gravy cakes!!
Fat and slow we give the ozone monkey brains
Give the ozone monkey brains!!
Give the ozone monkey brains!!

-After eight slices of gravy cake Al Gore blasted off to The Moon-

The Mysterious Moon People:

Al Gore we are the people of the moon
We foresee devastation
On your planet Earth
Make a PowerPoint
Instruct the people
Or it will eat you A-L-I-V-E

Al Gore:

Well what am I supposed to do I’m just a good ol’ boy from Tennessee
I don’t even know about your PowerPoint how am I supposed to tell all the folks what they pay to hear
The planets burning and if we don’t change our ways then we’ll all burn too
Gotta reduce, carbon production.
Gotta drive hybrid cars so the ozone doesn’t go away

Chapter 2: The Willfully Enlightened

Let’s Go Green
It’s not as faggy as it seems
Let’s Go Green (YEA)
It’s not as faggy as it seems

Floating away on an island so clear
The ice caps are melting our time is near
But don’t you be worried you young little boy
Al Gore’s got mushrooms and a fancy new toy
Global Warming is no superstition
Glenn Beck’s vagina has carbon emissions
Come follow me if you want to survive
That badass Al Gore will save you from dying
Oh no what was that (ehhhhhhh)
Global Warming (No)
Its coming to get us
NO!!!!!

(Yes)

Al Gore makes the ladies spread their cheeks out wide
Then they grind ‘em side to side
Like plate tectonics
Hot like the lava flowing out and shit
Oh shit
Al Gore rhymes shit with shit

Moonpeople revealed:

Shred the ozone shut
This is a bust
The Global Warming begins
His DC-8 is here

The Prophecy of 2012??!!
In 2012 a new breed of reptile will rise to power bringing humanity to its knees
Written down on Tibetan scrolls…
Cast away the teachings of Al Gore and celebrity Scientologists…BEWARE
Xenu is alive and well…
The teachings of Gore will prove feeble and insignificant as reptiles laugh at humanity
He has come to bring us hell…
Remember, Global Warming is a lie told by shape shifting reptilians like
AL-FUCKING GORE!!!!

Xenu:

The Global Warming Extravaganza
You!!! Don’t!!! Know!!!!
Because you’re already dead
The Global Warming Extravaganza
You!!! Don’t!!! Know!!!!
Because you’re already dead

You’re already dead!!!
You’re Dead
You’re already dead!!!
Track Name: Robot Shred off
ROBOT SHRED OFF

Initiate riff

I'm a lonely robot
All I want is a friend

I am the best guitar playing robot in the galaxy
Feeble outdated robot, I've been programmed to shred and have been sent here by my HU-MAN
creator to replace you! I challenge you to a shred-off and the loser will be sold for SCRAPS!

I accept your challenge Bap ba da baaa

Look at you shredding with your two arms like a HU-MAN I will use FOUR

I think you should check your oil, you sound a little rusty

Is your CPU capabe of computing this advanced shredding Beep boop bap

My robot grandmother shreds faster than that aaahahahaha

HU-MAN Eddie Van Halen tapped like that long before the robot invasion of earth!

If we join forces we can defeat the remaining HU-MANS

Disengage Me-tal riff
Track Name: Planet Dance
PLANET DANCE

Are you ready? To blast off to planet dance?

I don't think so
Get down, mothafuckin down
no get back up, you heard the man do as he says
wait down was better try that out, your laws don't apply on Planet Dance
Ok get up again it's awesome, Do as he says or you will never arrive on Planet Dance
SIDEWAYS, there is no gravity on Planet Dance
UPSIDE DOWN, Feel yourself floating away to the beat
CONCRETE JUNGLE, There's jungles on Planet Dance
Beware of the Native creatures, oh look there's one right there

Earthling, why have you come to my planet
I've come here to dance and feel all the beats that you aliens love
Did you come here to get down or the GET BACK UP?
I don't know the guy behind the thing kept telling me to do different things and it was fuckin weird
DO AS I SAY and you will get out of here alive...and boogie
Oh man all I want is to boogie, hence this...baaaaaaaa
DON'T OBEY ME AND YOU WILL BE SERVED, Like all earthlings are hahahahaha
stop laughing, observe my dancing...is it adequate to your alien lifestyle on Planet Dance?
No Hu-man, you are not boogieing nearly enough. You have neither gotten down nor up.
Now PREPARE TO BE THROWN INTO THE FUNK VOLCANO HAHAHAHAHA
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

How bout that shit
It's so funky I don't know what to do
Pretty motherfucking goddamn funky if you ask me
You got that right I sure am in a big pile of funk right now
Get me outta here cause this is fucking crazy and I'm in a big pile of fuuunk

Young traveler, I'm the sorcerer of getting down
and I'm here to tell you, you're gonna have to get off this planet if you ever want to see earth again.
Because this X is wearin off...and it's gonna be real tough to explain this once you're still on Planet Dance
And you're not on Ecstasy
So GO FORTH Traveler

RUUUUUUUN
YOU MUST TRAVEL THROUGH HELL TO ESCAPE FROM PLANET DANCE (x3)

Well played Traveler
You've escaped Planet Dance
But on the way don't forget everything you've learned...about life, love
You got up. You got down. You boogied. You ran through hell and back
You met some aliens that was fuckin weird but ahh remember that
And remember the lessons you've learned.
Well Done Traveler
Track Name: Tim Tebow is a False Prophet
Tim Tebow is a False Prophet:

He wakes up with the spirit inside. Run and tell Jesus, I'm not afraid to hide. (x2)
I'm Tim Tebow...don't you wanna see me blow...a guy.
(It's really easy to blow a guy when he's hanging on a cross...look, no hands!)
Run and tell Jesus, I'm not afraid to die. I believe in everlasting life.
Run and tell Jesus, I'm not afraid to die. Because I believe in everlasting life.

Bless me father for I have sinned.
It's been 15 minutes since my last confession.
Please fuck me father for I have sinned.
Bend me right over and I'll let you in.

The priest looked at me and said "Thou shall cum!" (Thou shall cum)
Oh my sweet little Tebow...Thou shall cum! (Yaaaaaaa)
As he wiped me off his chin...Thou shall cum! (Thou shall cum)
Do not worry my son. This happens to everyone.

Tim Tebow - Will promise you - He'll work hard - And he'll never stop (stop)
Predicts the future - With magic stones - He's Tim Tebow - A psychic superhero

Gather round uncle Gator's lap and he's gonna tell you your favorite Tim Tebow story, about when he broke up the international foreskin trade (foreskin?) One fine morning a thunderous voice appeared to him from above. He told Tebow about the uh, magical strength and super human powers he could gain...by simply ingesting foreskin. And since there's such a shortage, he commanded him to travel deep into the Phillipines using only his magic stones (magic stones). So Tim Tebow naturally uh, picked up his magic stones...gazed deeply into them (ZOOOOOOOO) And then, appeared a knee board with no boat, that Tim Tebow hopped on to and propelled only by his lust for foreskin and unimaginable human strength. Uh, made it all the way to the Phillipines in a matter of a couple hours. Upon his arrival in the Phillipines, he looked around at all the potential around him (full potential) knowing he could achieve feats of strength never before tasted by a human (or a gator). So in order to infiltrate uh, getting in there and getting the foreskins, he cleverly disguised himself as a white doctor (As we all would). Under his cloak of whiteness, he was able to extract many a foreskin (Zoo?). Like any proud hunter, he looked upon his bounty with great glee. But, also concern about what he'd do with all the foreskin he's extracted. So once again, he was forced to turn to his magic stones (ZOOOOOOOOOO). The voice appeared to him again (GAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

Tim Tebow...you remember that time you scored fa fa fa fa fa forty seven touchdowns? You were a local hero to all the ACR's. Please keep doin what ya doin Tim Tebow. Make your holy journey. Go to Isreal. Rebuild the temple. Bring forth the apocalypse. And don't forget your magic stones. You'll need them if you want to survive (survive, survive)

Tebow is a false prophet.
Tebow's a false prophet.
He fingered Brandon Spikes.
He will rebuild the temple.
With his magic stones.
And he will reign down terror with a thousand fucking angels to kill us all.

YOU WILL DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
By swords of fire! (By swords of fire)

Utlilizing full foreskin power! (YAWWWWWWWWWWW)
I will be your God now, follow me.
Mount with me upon my mighty steed.
And we'll go forth and smash the mighty army of BabyLON.
All shall kneel before me and give me gifts of Gold, Frankincense, and weeeeeeed

15 minutes to evacuate planet Earth.
Tim Tebow is a jealous God...
LISTEN TO THE GATOR NATION(yon yon yon yon)
(Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble - We Love Tebow - Gooble Gobble)
(Tebow is our God and his number is 15)

Tim Tebow - For your amusement!
Great leader Tebow...Leader of Tebow Planet, shining beacon of Tebow Galaxy.
For your amusement...the trained band of your Kazoo playing followers.
For your amusement! (For your amusement...we are here...for your...gaaaaa)

Tebow is pleased! MYAHHHHHHHHHHH

So now you know the story of Tim Tebow and his magic stones.
You know option quarterbacks never win in the Pros,
they'll never get ya fuckin super bowl, I know.
And that's fa sho.

That Tim Tebow's a false prophet.
And he caused the apocalypse.
By summoning the ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Track Name: Hippies
HIPPIES

Dude man, just mellow out on the chill
The fuck is wrong with society?
We should start our own society
I could bake bread
I'll churn butter
I can play the didgeridoo
The didgeridoo
That's some good didj

We're just totally misunderstood
People just don't feel the music anymore
jump on a trampoline
put on a birkenstock
do sommersaults, have fun man

Ya know, create a soup
get a wet noodle or two
JAM ON ACID, but if you're not into that why don't you try...

MOLLY (try it) SMOKING POTS
Pure MDMA

Dude where did the tunes go
don't you like that didj
I hear the didj, where are the tunes
MORE TUNES, WHAT THE FUCK MORE TUNES

NOOOOOOOOOO NOT THOSE FUCKIN TUNES
Not fuckin mellow dude
Not fuckin mellow
I'm totally gonna ditch on this angry fucking scene and go save some fuckin trees

And we will fight
For those who can't fight back
CANT FIGHT BACK
It's the trees
Stop cutting them please
YOU'RE CUTTING THEM DEEP
Why do you cut
FIGHT
What can't cut back
CANT FIGHT BACK
MOTHER EARTH
It's your mother obey her

1,2,3,4
Gonna save the world if I get a chance with my PCP and my DIRTY PANTS
Crunchy grooves and didgeridoos and everybody claps their hands everybody

I got four cases full of live CDs ain't no corporate fat cats can influence me
I only listen to Trey's crunchiest shit, so grab a hacky sack if you down with it
COME ON JAM

I'm over by the creek and throwin the Beat
With LSD, Trey and my man Jerry G
I hate wearin shoes and I'm fightin the man
and everybody claps their hands everybody!

All the ladies want a piece of big Z
cause (??)
I keep it so fresh and now you know why
I smoke to get high and not to die

Please don't smoke to die. Smoke that Dankity smoke to get high. (x3)
Track Name: John McCain
JOHN MCCAIN

Hey my man, why don't you break me off some o that ass shakin funky shit

Gather round my brothas and sistas as I tell you the tale
Of a Maverick that rode into town on a horse named GREATNESS
The baddest man in town who came here to put the economy on it's back
and put his boot up the ass of our enemies.
Champion of Foreign policy, popper of bottles in da club
Talkin bout my man John McCain

Cause it's John McCain
It's John McCain
Got tortured in Vietnam, don't you wanna see what he can do he's John
Johnny boy...Johnny Boy McCain CAIN
Wooooo

Grab your partner do cee do
Its the McCain hoedown yippee yo

Light your pipe and pick your strings get out the way for John McCain

Heel and Toe and Do cee do
It's techno John McCain


John McCain will make you dance
And all the ladies squirt their pants
John Ma-Cain my friends (x4)
Take the blue pill
Take the red pill
Ladies and gentleman
in the VIP room I would like to thank John McCain
When he's not saving the economy or crushing the Cong
He's in the club, the VIP room
partying his gargantuan patriotic balls off
So get on the train or get outta the way
We're all just raisin McCain

We're all just raisin McCain
Everywhere across the USA
So get on the train or get outta the way
We're all just raisin McCain
John McCain

As a maverick I got my taste in jazz
I appreciate a lick or two
From Hannoi, tortured as a baby boy
Black and Blue
I'm gonna rip off some dirty jazz shit for you
La bap bap bap bap
I just improv'd you
told ya I was a maverick

Grandpa you wanna talk about torture, are you making waffles again?
You may be a hero of modern American times
but you're no hero of the waffle iron gramps you silly goose
so pour yourself a glass a milk and sit back in your favorite chair
watch your favorite episode of matlock and let me make the waffles
ya silly grandpa you

Cause it's John McCain
It's John McCain
Track Name: Poop Groove
POOP GROOVE

Said WAYOOOO
You wanna poop all dayooo
You wanna take your time
Cause poop is on the line

One more time there's poop on the line
when there's poop on the line, you wanna spend your time
YAAAYOOO (x2)


I spent three hours on the toilet yesterday
contemplating life, impossible decisions
The fairy tale of poop characters dancing to the beat
I said, I gotta get outta this place man
Go to California, I hear the poop over there flows like wine.
But, here I'm stuck with

CONSTIPATION (x4)
DOOKIE STINKS (x4) WE MAKE DOOKIE STINKS AND WE PUT THEM IN THE SINK (x2)

Boy there is something seriously wrong wit yo head
You know what you gotta do
you gotta get up off that toilet
You gotta play dat guitar...and poop on them strings

(Spanish part translated)
I once pooped in my sister's mouth
The guitar is great for poop stain playing
I do it for the population
I once pooped in a train station
Poop is the essence of communication

Said WAYOOOO
You wanna poop all dayooo
You wanna take your time
Cause poop is on the line

Are you runnin out of poop, do you want some of mine
Are you runnin out of poop, I ain't got no time

Are you runnin out of poop, do you want some of mine
Are you runnin out of poop, I sound like Sublime

Make sure you wipe once or twice, cause you're better safe than sorry (x2)
Track Name: Outlaw Hell
OUTLAW HELL

...jews

I'm a lonely outlaw after sundown
I raise some hell and ruin this town
I'm drinking whiskey and smoking greens
I'm bangin horses and tumbleweeds
Shreiff's comin and he's wearin a frown
He aims his shooter and guns me down

HOLY JACKRABBITS AND JUMPFIRES I shot him down in cold blood
I hope he burns in hell

OUTLAWS BURN IN OUTLAW HELL
BUT YOU WONT GO IF YOU AVOID THESE COWS
AVOID THESE COWS
AVOID THESE COWS

THESE ARE SATAN'S COWS
SATAN'S COWS GO MOOOOOOOO


Greetings, you've entered the waiting room of Saint Lucifer Satanicus
Don't be confused sugar, this is the real hell and you will now be tortured for all of eternity
I know it sounds bad, but hey it's only Polka Hell, you'll get used to it.
Answer the telephone. Speak to the gentlemen on the other line.

Hello, this is the Polka Devil's executive assistant and he wanted me to inform you
that he's very sorry he can't get to you right now. So he's gonna have to re-incarnate you.
But, you're not goin back to Wisconsin
We're gonna need to put you on a comprehensive polka hell workout program
GET U SOOOOMME

Ring Ding
Are you with me?
Side to side and down and up
Everybody do the demon bump!
One and two and three and four
Worship Satan more and more!

With the bump....The Demon bump

Reincarnation level complete
and you know what we're gonna reincarnate you as?
A surfer...I know outlaws don't like surfers
ironic...hmmmmmmm?

Surfs up mothafucka
Huh...should we go...to the HAAAAA

I'm drinking whiskey and smoking greens
I'm bangin horses and tumbleweeds
I'm a lonely outlaw after sundown
I raise some hell and I ruin this town

....outro....
Track Name: Gainesville Raceway
Hey Skip, what the H-E-double hockey sticks are we gonna do tonight?? Well Reginald, we can go to the Jack Johnson laser light show, the Swamp Planetarium, or drop by the stamp collectors expo.

Nuts to that.

Can't we do something a little more EXTREEEEME?

Race fans! Load up your flask, Get your ass down to Gainesville Raceway for Tire squealin Saturday! Alachua's most RAD demolition action. School bus Smashemups! Sprint Car (??), Death defying Segway races, (VROOM!) All drivers will be ON FIRE AT ALL TIMES! (Ow Owww) Bring the kids, bring the wife, bring your DAD!

Oh Pish Posh, I have a cricket match on Saturday...

FUCK YOU DAD! Get there early for nickel hot dogs and 2 for 1 Moonshine slammers! (woooo doggy) First 50 race fans get to kick a Jeff Gordon lookalike in the nuts! (OW)
Tire squealin Saturday, the most Assphalt kickin time in Alachua! This Saturday at Gainesville Raceway. Gainesville Raceway, it's EXTREEEEEEEEEME! (Gainesville Raceway is not responsible for any spectator related injuries, 7 drink minimum for adults, 4 for 18 and under. Arrive alive, don't drink and driiiiiiiive)
Track Name: Club Club
Tired of weak drinks, soft beats and dry puss? Then come down to Club Club (Club Club) where on Thursdays, ladies drink free after 8 (mmmm!) Friday and Saturday is our "Rape em if ya got em" special...you bring the chicks...We'll bring the Ketamine!

At Club Club (Club Club) we SLAM your holes full of the most killer beats. Provided by none other than the world famous DJ Deliverance. If the day ends in a "Y" it's 3 dollar pitchers and 1 dollar glowsticks til close (AW YEAH) Don't forget our extensive food menu featuring the Club Club Club! (Mmhmmm) Club Club, located at 100 Southwest Main Street, Gainesville Florida! Club Club, JUMP IN THE FIREEEEEE!!!
(21 and up with valid ID, don't end up like Princess Di. Don't drink and drive)
Track Name: Super Rock n Roll Fun Time
Hey Kids! Are you ready for a SUPER ROCK N ROLL FUN TIME??? (yeah!!)
Pick up a guitar and SHRED!!! It's super rock n' roll fun time!!!
Ya know what?? And it's comin for YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
Super kick ass rock n' roll mothafuckin fun time
Super kick ass rock n' roll mothafuckin fun time
If you don't pick up a guitar...FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
Super kick ass rock n' roll mothafuckin fun time (YEAH)
Super kick ass rock n' roll mothafuckin fun time
Shredding is FUN!!!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA