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Debaucherous Adventure

by The Global Warming Extravaganza

supported by
Poesy Rider
Poesy Rider thumbnail
Poesy Rider Ultime !!!! l'album ultime de métal barré, déjanté... Oubliez tout ce que vous connaissez, même les trucs les plus dingues car vous avez là, tant sur la qualité que la quantité, de quoi passer encore quelques années de fun. Génial !!!!!!! Favorite track: Tim Tebow is a False Prophet.
Cyril Glaume
Cyril Glaume thumbnail
Cyril Glaume Du nawak metal qui blablate beaucoup, qui sonne des fois un peu creux, mais qui réussit à gratter juste là où ça démange...

Pour en savoir plus: www.coreandco.fr/chroniques/the-global-warming-extravaganza-debaucherous-adventure-2912.html
Favorite track: A Capella Metal.
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1.
Prof. Zootinsky - Good evening ladies and gentleman and thank-you for coming to the archeological site. Please watch your feet that you don’t step on the bones of the Ankleosauraus, the Apatasauraus, the Baronix, the Compsgnathus the Lambiosauraus, the Myosera the Parasurofalus The Plesiosauraus my personal favorite the Ranfarenkeous the Sizemasauraus the Stegasauras or the Velociraptor. Please listen to our special guest Richard Dawkins as pardon the pun he has the most bone chilling discovery,…hmmm Prof. Dawkins - We have searched through the fossil records…excuse me…fossil recooords. And found that cavemen did indeed make music. WE have brought their music up to modern production standards. This is a fossilized song… Cavemen -- Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa BLaaaaa Blaaaaaa…..yom yom….its a yom yom. Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa BLaaaaa Blaaaaaa…..yom yom….its a yom yom…WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Part 2 The Birth of Life Mark – This is the story of evolution!!! 1 Billion B.C. a volcano erupted and created life, from a single cell we evolved into the beings known as homo sapiens…and soon we shall evolve into GODS. Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble….GODS!!! The Real Richard Dawkins – The Darwinian explanation, which is so stunningly elegant and powerful. You realize you don’t need any kind of supernatural force to explain it. Matt – Evolve into Gods!!!! Feeling summer upon my skin the sun fuels evolution Feeling summer upon my skin the son fools evolution Zutes – Progress…. Upright Walking….Faster…More Powerful More Agile…less wisdom teeth…improved intelligence (noises)…..interspecies relationships, telekinesis, more aquatic breathe ability….Gills (GILLS)….Fins (FINS)…Kevin Fucking Costner Part 3 The Rise of Man Early Man - Yea life is good in the Garden of Eden I walk around on my own two feet Picking Fruit…Drinking Juice I’m my own man I do what I Want And I fuck who I fuck I’m gonna eat all your motherfucking fruit The First Authority - Hold it right there…that is not how we eat fruit. Follow my commands and learn how to properly eat fruit And remember Give me money Historian - They Hi-jack the information highway They Will destroy all the books And replace evolution with SATAN This is how religion really works Oh no Im falling!!!!!!! Ahhhh!!!!!!!!!! Be calm my son you are not falling You will worship the God of Da dipida doom badapadoom You will say his name over and over in a mantra Until he appears for you and brings you gifts You will then dance with Da dipida doom badapadoom Say his name Dipida Doom Badapa doom, Dipida Doom Badapa doom, Dipi dipi dipida doom badapadoom, Dipida Doom BadapaDipi dipi dipi (x2) I am Da Dipida Doom Badapadoom Why have you awakened me from my slumber? Oh let me guess You want me to bring you gifts. If it is the material lifestyle you desire then you seek the path of SATAN The Duality of Satan Is he’s one with information Does he corrupt or teach the truth Will he love or butt-fuck you (Oh my god might be Satan) From the spiritual experience we move on to the emotional experience We present genus and phylum: Emoticus Sliticus Bleedicus My heart was waiting for you My soul was as black as the moon (like a lunar eclipse) And everywhere I go My heart still roams So you won’t lead me down (you wont lead me down) You won’t lead me down that dead end road But to teach children that it is a fact that there is one god That is child abuse it is certainly elitist what is wrong with an elitist Fairies and the flying spaghetti monster etc. etc. etc. The more educated you are the more likely you are to be an atheist Feeling my mind Growing up and reaching into the sky Sheltered from this everlasting truth that I now See I used to be a monkey (yeah) I came down from the trees And I learned to play heavy metal Silly little monkeys know that they were born to thrash Along our evolutionary journey we present a more primitive form of metal… Genus and phylum: Thrashicus afarensicus Known to get really wasted on Natural Light and cut off their jeans into shorts These early homo sapiens play fast, live hard, and die young BUT THEY WERE BORN TO… THRASH!! BORN TO THRASH!! DRINK NATTY LIGHT!!! BORN TO THRASH DRINK NATTY…DRINK NATTY LIGHT!!!!! GO!!! The emergence of Dimebag Darrel changed metal forever Hey Dimebag can you do one of those squeely things???? Sure thing little buddy The Global Warming Extravaganza Commands you to take drugs!!! sliding down the snow while sitting on a log the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog Don’t take drugs and listen to Phish it will stunt your evolution!!! sliding down the snow while sitting on a log the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog The Bass Player of Phish Rapes little girls in back alleys!!! sliding down the snow while sitting on a log the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog You can’t believe what you’ve read You can’t believe what’s been told to you Forever and ever and ever and ever again You can’t believe what’s been sold to you Forever and ever and ever with him in Heaven You know that Jesus would Want you to Take mushrooms And Evolve Into Him A Shaman of the Meats Bring the Funk To my Motherfucking feet (x2) Sometimes things go horribly wrong in evolution and extremely violent species develop The drugs made Hitler Go Crazy…. Yon ton rape-a-lation Of the insane population Yon ton rape-a-lation yoooooo Breeding the purest of race To preserve this Arian Nation Yon ton rape-a-lation yoooooo Breeding the purest of race To preserve this Arian Nation YOOOOOO Do you believe? We came from nothing? Do you believe? That we came from nothing? Do you believe? (It was written in the stars) That We Came From nothing (That we would become Gods) Do you believe? That we came from Nothing? Moment of enlightenment Good evening ladies and gentlemen it is time for the Secret News….. Here it is the Secret News: All people are afraid No one knows what they’re doing And everything is always getting worse Some people deserve to die Your money is worthless And no one is properly rehearsed Remember at least one of your children will disappoint you The system is rigged So your house will never be completely clean Teachers are very incompetent and remember… There are people who dislike you because you’re a faggot Nothing is good, as it seems And things don’t last No one is paying attention to you And the country is dying But remember…. God doesn’t care Your god is selfish pitiful coward Nothing like my god Allah!!! My god is #1 His foreskin can devour the sun Pray to Allah and Muhammad and to Jihad Kill the Infidel with a Koran For Allah We live in a Jihad Jihad!!! Enter into paradise with fire!!! From a Jihad Jihad!!! So in the end the Muslim race shall prevail Thy are the most relentless and they have the most knives Masterful in their sorcery and wisdom But what does the prophet Muhammad look like I shall describe him to you as I met him on the field of battle And so it begins… Muhammad is about 5’8 220 pounds soaking wet He has the most beautiful blue eyes you have ever seen on a male or female His overgrown scrotum acts as a marsupial pouch Where he can shield himself from the hot desert sun and Allah likes it too…. Take a look around and you will find the answer it is right under your little nose Please utilize your puny brain
2.
Evolution 18:52
Prof. Zootinsky - Good evening ladies and gentleman and thank-you for coming to the archeological site. Please watch your feet that you don’t step on the bones of the Ankleosauraus, the Apatasauraus, the Baronix, the Compsgnathus the Lambiosauraus, the Myosera the Parasurofalus The Plesiosauraus my personal favorite the Ranfarenkeous the Sizemasauraus the Stegasauras or the Velociraptor. Please listen to our special guest Richard Dawkins as pardon the pun he has the most bone chilling discovery,…hmmm Prof. Dawkins - We have searched through the fossil records…excuse me…fossil recooords. And found that cavemen did indeed make music. WE have brought their music up to modern production standards. This is a fossilized song… Cavemen -- Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa BLaaaaa Blaaaaaa…..yom yom….its a yom yom. Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa BLaaaaa Blaaaaaa…..yom yom….its a yom yom…WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Part 2 The Birth of Life Mark – This is the story of evolution!!! 1 Billion B.C. a volcano erupted and created life, from a single cell we evolved into the beings known as homo sapiens…and soon we shall evolve into GODS. Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble….GODS!!! The Real Richard Dawkins – The Darwinian explanation, which is so stunningly elegant and powerful. You realize you don’t need any kind of supernatural force to explain it. Matt – Evolve into Gods!!!! Feeling summer upon my skin the sun fuels evolution Feeling summer upon my skin the son fools evolution Zutes – Progress…. Upright Walking….Faster…More Powerful More Agile…less wisdom teeth…improved intelligence (noises)…..interspecies relationships, telekinesis, more aquatic breathe ability….Gills (GILLS)….Fins (FINS)…Kevin Fucking Costner Part 3 The Rise of Man Early Man - Yea life is good in the Garden of Eden I walk around on my own two feet Picking Fruit…Drinking Juice I’m my own man I do what I Want And I fuck who I fuck I’m gonna eat all your motherfucking fruit The First Authority - Hold it right there…that is not how we eat fruit. Follow my commands and learn how to properly eat fruit And remember Give me money Historian - They Hi-jack the information highway They Will destroy all the books And replace evolution with SATAN This is how religion really works Oh no Im falling!!!!!!! Ahhhh!!!!!!!!!! Be calm my son you are not falling You will worship the God of Da dipida doom badapadoom You will say his name over and over in a mantra Until he appears for you and brings you gifts You will then dance with Da dipida doom badapadoom Say his name Dipida Doom Badapa doom, Dipida Doom Badapa doom, Dipi dipi dipida doom badapadoom, Dipida Doom BadapaDipi dipi dipi (x2) I am Da Dipida Doom Badapadoom Why have you awakened me from my slumber? Oh let me guess You want me to bring you gifts. If it is the material lifestyle you desire then you seek the path of SATAN The Duality of Satan Is he’s one with information Does he corrupt or teach the truth Will he love or butt-fuck you (Oh my god might be Satan) From the spiritual experience we move on to the emotional experience We present genus and phylum: Emoticus Sliticus Bleedicus My heart was waiting for you My soul was as black as the moon (like a lunar eclipse) And everywhere I go My heart still roams So you won’t lead me down (you wont lead me down) You won’t lead me down that dead end road But to teach children that it is a fact that there is one god That is child abuse it is certainly elitist what is wrong with an elitist Fairies and the flying spaghetti monster etc. etc. etc. The more educated you are the more likely you are to be an atheist Feeling my mind Growing up and reaching into the sky Sheltered from this everlasting truth that I now See I used to be a monkey (yeah) I came down from the trees And I learned to play heavy metal Silly little monkeys know that they were born to thrash Along our evolutionary journey we present a more primitive form of metal… Genus and phylum: Thrashicus afarensicus Known to get really wasted on Natural Light and cut off their jeans into shorts These early homo sapiens play fast, live hard, and die young BUT THEY WERE BORN TO… THRASH!! BORN TO THRASH!! DRINK NATTY LIGHT!!! BORN TO THRASH DRINK NATTY…DRINK NATTY LIGHT!!!!! GO!!! The emergence of Dimebag Darrel changed metal forever Hey Dimebag can you do one of those squeely things???? Sure thing little buddy The Global Warming Extravaganza Commands you to take drugs!!! sliding down the snow while sitting on a log the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog Don’t take drugs and listen to Phish it will stunt your evolution!!! sliding down the snow while sitting on a log the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog The Bass Player of Phish Rapes little girls in back alleys!!! sliding down the snow while sitting on a log the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog You can’t believe what you’ve read You can’t believe what’s been told to you Forever and ever and ever and ever again You can’t believe what’s been sold to you Forever and ever and ever with him in Heaven You know that Jesus would Want you to Take mushrooms And Evolve Into Him A Shaman of the Meats Bring the Funk To my Motherfucking feet (x2) Sometimes things go horribly wrong in evolution and extremely violent species develop The drugs made Hitler Go Crazy…. Yon ton rape-a-lation Of the insane population Yon ton rape-a-lation yoooooo Breeding the purest of race To preserve this Arian Nation Yon ton rape-a-lation yoooooo Breeding the purest of race To preserve this Arian Nation YOOOOOO Do you believe? We came from nothing? Do you believe? That we came from nothing? Do you believe? (It was written in the stars) That We Came From nothing (That we would become Gods) Do you believe? That we came from Nothing? Moment of enlightenment Good evening ladies and gentlemen it is time for the Secret News….. Here it is the Secret News: All people are afraid No one knows what they’re doing And everything is always getting worse Some people deserve to die Your money is worthless And no one is properly rehearsed Remember at least one of your children will disappoint you The system is rigged So your house will never be completely clean Teachers are very incompetent and remember… There are people who dislike you because you’re a faggot Nothing is good, as it seems And things don’t last No one is paying attention to you And the country is dying But remember…. God doesn’t care Your god is selfish pitiful coward Nothing like my god Allah!!! My god is #1 His foreskin can devour the sun Pray to Allah and Muhammad and to Jihad Kill the Infidel with a Koran For Allah We live in a Jihad Jihad!!! Enter into paradise with fire!!! From a Jihad Jihad!!! So in the end the Muslim race shall prevail Thy are the most relentless and they have the most knives Masterful in their sorcery and wisdom But what does the prophet Muhammad look like I shall describe him to you as I met him on the field of battle And so it begins… Muhammad is about 5’8 220 pounds soaking wet He has the most beautiful blue eyes you have ever seen on a male or female His overgrown scrotum acts as a marsupial pouch Where he can shield himself from the hot desert sun and Allah likes it too…. Take a look around and you will find the answer it is right under your little nose Please utilize your puny brain
3.
Meat Mountain: Hey Kids! Are you tired of weak sandwiches with sparse meat coverage? (I'm still hungry!) Then stamp your passport to Meatropolis, strap on your harness and scale the summit of Meat Mountain (Meat Mountain). You have never faced a mountain so daunting, so brutal, so meaty. Chock full of ham, beef, prime rib, panda, tubesteak, armadillo, bear, alligator, smothered with head cheese and topped off with chunks on monkey. Can I have that on wheat bread? FUCK YOU. Meat Mountain is served with Del Monaco steaks as bread you vegan pussy. Don't take my word for it. Summon the Shaman of the meats! Close your eyes. Imagine pulsating through your third eye...we call upon the shaman of the meats...to prey upon the flesh of the wicked...(Random chanting) The Shaman says that we do not deserve the meat that we eat. But, he will accept your offering. Even if your meat is...funky. BAM!!! I'm the shaman of the meats mothafucka! Get down on my mothafuckin meeeaaaatttt! HUH! (Random scat) Take it to da bridge....UNGH I said BOOM, mothafucka eat the meat...turn it into doo doo BOOM, mothafucka eat the meat...boom turn it into doo doo I said BOOM, mothafucka eat the meat...turn it into doo doo BOOM, mothafucka eat the meat...boom turn it into doo doo Yo they say eat the meat I got a meat Bentley with meat rims they...22 inches large...got a meat cell phone with a meat app. It's ringin right now let me check it (ring). Yo it's my nigga More-Meat-pheus from the meatrix...plug yourself in... I am More-Meat-pheus and I will be your tour guide through the meatrix. You are presented with a choice you must take. You must either eat the red steak, or the blue steak. Eat the red steak and find out how far the rabbit meat goes! Or eat the blue steak and return to your life as normal. Starring Keanu Reeves as...THE MEAT. HA HA HA HA You have eaten the red steak and in turn have chose the meatiest of climaxes. Prepare to meet the meaty creator of the meatrix and drink meat tea. I'm the mayor of Meatropolis and I want to show you my meats...YEAH. Garcon! Hand me the MEAT LIST. We got red meat, white meat, yellow meat black meat, blue meat. We got alligator meat and hamster meat, snake meat, rabbit meat, hippopotamus meat, panda bear meat, bald eagle meat. We've got...every kind of meat. And all this month, try our exclusive deal on MONKEY MEAT!!! (monkey noises) For those of you unable to make it to meatropolis, we've developed new technology to deliver Meat Mountains directly to your doorstep. Introducing...THE MEAT CATAPULT! OR, take our meat home with you in our 50 pound DEHYDRATED MEAT CUBE. Every Friday night there will be live MMA fighting! (Keeeeyaaawwwww) And now, our spokesperson...Lady Meat Meats... Can't eat my, can't eat my, no you can't eat my meat mountain (It's killed 4 Man vs. Food hosts) Can't eat my, can't eat my, no you can't eat my meat mountain (Delivered with a meat catapult) Pa pa pa pa pot roast Pa pa pa pa pot roast Ma ma ma ma maaa Pa pa pa pa pot roast Pa pa pa pa pot roast Ma ma ma ma maaa You must kill all vegetarians...and eat their meat! Their blasphemous vegan lifestyle, tainted souls, eat their meat! Climbin up to meat mountain. Drinkin from the water fountain. Got 16 pounds of mothafuckin monkey meat! Climbin up to meat mountain. Drinkin from the water fountain. Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma MEAT. Ma ma ma ma Meat mountain. Drinkin from the water fountain. Got 16 pounds of mothafuckin monkey meat! Climbin up to meat mountain. Drinkin from the water fountain. Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma MEAT As the mayor's personal assistant, I cordially invite you to the new room at meatropolis where you SLAUGHTER YOUR OWN MEAT! (More animal noises and chainsaw noises) When you're young and you want lots of meat, there is only one place to eat. That's meatropolis (meatropolis) Meatropolis (meatropolis) Yum yum yum yum yum yum please taste our meat at meatropolis. (Gimme a Meatar solo!) Don't contemplate the size of your meat. It doesn't matter, eat more meat. Don't contemplate the size of your meat. yeah yeah, eat more meat. It grows on trees. Yeah. If you've made it this far into the song...congratulations! The Global Warming Extravaganza would like to thank you, by sponsoring a meat orgy....in your honor.
4.
5.
ZOMBIE PETTING ZOO Aye ye lads and lasses on three! 1 2 3 Grab your lads and your lass the little tykes Take your whacken club to prevent a bite. We'll go down and have a merry time at the zombie petting zoo. There's cows and squirrels and Weedly mice There's a goat that likes to smell you And we'll ALL go down and have a pint at the Zombie Petting Zoo Cuz Zombie's will get ya juicy...and then they'll eat ya pussy (x2) The undead got that chronic, but they can't touch my phonics I'll grind on all their bitches, and give them a colonic Jumpin on that train, feastin on Zombie brains...at the pettin zoo ....Nigga what you gonna do Cuz Zombie's will get ya juicy...and then they'll eat ya pussy (x2) pussy pussy pussy Pussy BRAINS BRAINS, BRAINS an all you can eat buffet of brains BRAINS, BRAINS even more fun than eating a human BRAINS BRAINS, BRAINS just because we eat humans doesn't mean we can't play with cute animals Fill up your pint, Sheer the sheep and sing the song again!! Grab your lads and your lass the little tykes Take your whacken club to prevent a bite. We'll go down and have a merry time at the zombie petting zoo. There's cows and squirrel and Weedly mice There's a goat that likes to smell you And we'll ALL go down and have a pint at the Zombie Petting Zoo Cuz Zombie's will get ya juicy...and then they'll eat ya pussy (x2) pussy pussy pussy Sippin on mah purple drank, sniffin on that pussy stank Bumpin to my fly beats, pettin animals I meet Zombie's chewin on my arm while I'm chillin at the farm They're tryin to eat a fool, it's a bad pettin zoo Well I'm rollin 30 deep with some 22s, you be fuckin mad hoes if you step in my shoes. But you shot a blank, you stank. And I'm HIGH ON CRANK! Zombies be smokin that dank Cuz Zombie's will get ya juicy...and then they'll eat ya pussy (x2) pussy pussy pussy YAAAAAAA This petting zoo is owned by SATAN YAAAAAAAAAAAA That's why Zombies are welcome in Heed my word children, when you're making the choice of the petting zoo you're going to attend this weekend. Don't frequent the petting zoo zombies also frequent. It's a hazard to your health and everyone around you. Hell you might lose a limb, get bit and turn into a zombies yourself. And They'll probably eat the animals. Plus, they have better animals down the street. So get your pet on...the SAFE way.
6.
The Global Warming Extravaganza: Foreword: Xenu: Hahahahaha John Redneck: Man, sure as shit I understand what that Global Warming thing was…and I used to think that Al Gore was a fucking faggot, I was like “that boys from Tennessee and he’s gonna fucking preach at me and do what?” But turns out faggot liberals aren’t really faggots…. I’ve gone hip I’ve gone green And this motherfucker is about to go crazy What it is…is You take a shoe Throw it in the river for about a couple of weeks And BAMM That’s Global Warming Chapter 1: The Willfully Ignorant BAMM Global Warming Say spray your hairspray can And toss a plastic bottle in the fire…YEA!!! Do an 8-ball burn your tires The liberals are fucking liars Oh man Ba Ba Ba Barrack Hussein Obama man That niggaz’ the sauce dawg If he came on a fucking cracker id eat it Shit That niggaz’ the shiz-nit Frenchman: Aww you Americans should be more like us French We drive hybrid cars…so should you!!! You’re too busy sitting around eating transitional fats and producing garbage You Americans are such Garbage (Burp) Americans: Fat and slow we inject mayonnaise in our veins (burp) Fat and slow we’re eating deep fried gravy cakes Eating deep fried gravy cakes!! Fat and slow we give the ozone monkey brains Give the ozone monkey brains!! Give the ozone monkey brains!! -After eight slices of gravy cake Al Gore blasted off to The Moon- The Mysterious Moon People: Al Gore we are the people of the moon We foresee devastation On your planet Earth Make a PowerPoint Instruct the people Or it will eat you A-L-I-V-E Al Gore: Well what am I supposed to do I’m just a good ol’ boy from Tennessee I don’t even know about your PowerPoint how am I supposed to tell all the folks what they pay to hear The planets burning and if we don’t change our ways then we’ll all burn too Gotta reduce, carbon production. Gotta drive hybrid cars so the ozone doesn’t go away Chapter 2: The Willfully Enlightened Let’s Go Green It’s not as faggy as it seems Let’s Go Green (YEA) It’s not as faggy as it seems Floating away on an island so clear The ice caps are melting our time is near But don’t you be worried you young little boy Al Gore’s got mushrooms and a fancy new toy Global Warming is no superstition Glenn Beck’s vagina has carbon emissions Come follow me if you want to survive That badass Al Gore will save you from dying Oh no what was that (ehhhhhhh) Global Warming (No) Its coming to get us NO!!!!! (Yes) Al Gore makes the ladies spread their cheeks out wide Then they grind ‘em side to side Like plate tectonics Hot like the lava flowing out and shit Oh shit Al Gore rhymes shit with shit Moonpeople revealed: Shred the ozone shut This is a bust The Global Warming begins His DC-8 is here The Prophecy of 2012??!! In 2012 a new breed of reptile will rise to power bringing humanity to its knees Written down on Tibetan scrolls… Cast away the teachings of Al Gore and celebrity Scientologists…BEWARE Xenu is alive and well… The teachings of Gore will prove feeble and insignificant as reptiles laugh at humanity He has come to bring us hell… Remember, Global Warming is a lie told by shape shifting reptilians like AL-FUCKING GORE!!!! Xenu: The Global Warming Extravaganza You!!! Don’t!!! Know!!!! Because you’re already dead The Global Warming Extravaganza You!!! Don’t!!! Know!!!! Because you’re already dead You’re already dead!!! You’re Dead You’re already dead!!!
7.
ROBOT SHRED OFF Initiate riff I'm a lonely robot All I want is a friend I am the best guitar playing robot in the galaxy Feeble outdated robot, I've been programmed to shred and have been sent here by my HU-MAN creator to replace you! I challenge you to a shred-off and the loser will be sold for SCRAPS! I accept your challenge Bap ba da baaa Look at you shredding with your two arms like a HU-MAN I will use FOUR I think you should check your oil, you sound a little rusty Is your CPU capabe of computing this advanced shredding Beep boop bap My robot grandmother shreds faster than that aaahahahaha HU-MAN Eddie Van Halen tapped like that long before the robot invasion of earth! If we join forces we can defeat the remaining HU-MANS Disengage Me-tal riff
8.
Planet Dance 04:03
PLANET DANCE Are you ready? To blast off to planet dance? I don't think so Get down, mothafuckin down no get back up, you heard the man do as he says wait down was better try that out, your laws don't apply on Planet Dance Ok get up again it's awesome, Do as he says or you will never arrive on Planet Dance SIDEWAYS, there is no gravity on Planet Dance UPSIDE DOWN, Feel yourself floating away to the beat CONCRETE JUNGLE, There's jungles on Planet Dance Beware of the Native creatures, oh look there's one right there Earthling, why have you come to my planet I've come here to dance and feel all the beats that you aliens love Did you come here to get down or the GET BACK UP? I don't know the guy behind the thing kept telling me to do different things and it was fuckin weird DO AS I SAY and you will get out of here alive...and boogie Oh man all I want is to boogie, hence this...baaaaaaaa DON'T OBEY ME AND YOU WILL BE SERVED, Like all earthlings are hahahahaha stop laughing, observe my dancing...is it adequate to your alien lifestyle on Planet Dance? No Hu-man, you are not boogieing nearly enough. You have neither gotten down nor up. Now PREPARE TO BE THROWN INTO THE FUNK VOLCANO HAHAHAHAHA Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh How bout that shit It's so funky I don't know what to do Pretty motherfucking goddamn funky if you ask me You got that right I sure am in a big pile of funk right now Get me outta here cause this is fucking crazy and I'm in a big pile of fuuunk Young traveler, I'm the sorcerer of getting down and I'm here to tell you, you're gonna have to get off this planet if you ever want to see earth again. Because this X is wearin off...and it's gonna be real tough to explain this once you're still on Planet Dance And you're not on Ecstasy So GO FORTH Traveler RUUUUUUUN YOU MUST TRAVEL THROUGH HELL TO ESCAPE FROM PLANET DANCE (x3) Well played Traveler You've escaped Planet Dance But on the way don't forget everything you've learned...about life, love You got up. You got down. You boogied. You ran through hell and back You met some aliens that was fuckin weird but ahh remember that And remember the lessons you've learned. Well Done Traveler
9.
Tim Tebow is a False Prophet: He wakes up with the spirit inside. Run and tell Jesus, I'm not afraid to hide. (x2) I'm Tim Tebow...don't you wanna see me blow...a guy. (It's really easy to blow a guy when he's hanging on a cross...look, no hands!) Run and tell Jesus, I'm not afraid to die. I believe in everlasting life. Run and tell Jesus, I'm not afraid to die. Because I believe in everlasting life. Bless me father for I have sinned. It's been 15 minutes since my last confession. Please fuck me father for I have sinned. Bend me right over and I'll let you in. The priest looked at me and said "Thou shall cum!" (Thou shall cum) Oh my sweet little Tebow...Thou shall cum! (Yaaaaaaa) As he wiped me off his chin...Thou shall cum! (Thou shall cum) Do not worry my son. This happens to everyone. Tim Tebow - Will promise you - He'll work hard - And he'll never stop (stop) Predicts the future - With magic stones - He's Tim Tebow - A psychic superhero Gather round uncle Gator's lap and he's gonna tell you your favorite Tim Tebow story, about when he broke up the international foreskin trade (foreskin?) One fine morning a thunderous voice appeared to him from above. He told Tebow about the uh, magical strength and super human powers he could gain...by simply ingesting foreskin. And since there's such a shortage, he commanded him to travel deep into the Phillipines using only his magic stones (magic stones). So Tim Tebow naturally uh, picked up his magic stones...gazed deeply into them (ZOOOOOOOO) And then, appeared a knee board with no boat, that Tim Tebow hopped on to and propelled only by his lust for foreskin and unimaginable human strength. Uh, made it all the way to the Phillipines in a matter of a couple hours. Upon his arrival in the Phillipines, he looked around at all the potential around him (full potential) knowing he could achieve feats of strength never before tasted by a human (or a gator). So in order to infiltrate uh, getting in there and getting the foreskins, he cleverly disguised himself as a white doctor (As we all would). Under his cloak of whiteness, he was able to extract many a foreskin (Zoo?). Like any proud hunter, he looked upon his bounty with great glee. But, also concern about what he'd do with all the foreskin he's extracted. So once again, he was forced to turn to his magic stones (ZOOOOOOOOOO). The voice appeared to him again (GAAAAAAAAAAAAA) Tim Tebow...you remember that time you scored fa fa fa fa fa forty seven touchdowns? You were a local hero to all the ACR's. Please keep doin what ya doin Tim Tebow. Make your holy journey. Go to Isreal. Rebuild the temple. Bring forth the apocalypse. And don't forget your magic stones. You'll need them if you want to survive (survive, survive) Tebow is a false prophet. Tebow's a false prophet. He fingered Brandon Spikes. He will rebuild the temple. With his magic stones. And he will reign down terror with a thousand fucking angels to kill us all. YOU WILL DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE By swords of fire! (By swords of fire) Utlilizing full foreskin power! (YAWWWWWWWWWWW) I will be your God now, follow me. Mount with me upon my mighty steed. And we'll go forth and smash the mighty army of BabyLON. All shall kneel before me and give me gifts of Gold, Frankincense, and weeeeeeed 15 minutes to evacuate planet Earth. Tim Tebow is a jealous God... LISTEN TO THE GATOR NATION(yon yon yon yon) (Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble - We Love Tebow - Gooble Gobble) (Tebow is our God and his number is 15) Tim Tebow - For your amusement! Great leader Tebow...Leader of Tebow Planet, shining beacon of Tebow Galaxy. For your amusement...the trained band of your Kazoo playing followers. For your amusement! (For your amusement...we are here...for your...gaaaaa) Tebow is pleased! MYAHHHHHHHHHHH So now you know the story of Tim Tebow and his magic stones. You know option quarterbacks never win in the Pros, they'll never get ya fuckin super bowl, I know. And that's fa sho. That Tim Tebow's a false prophet. And he caused the apocalypse. By summoning the ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
10.
Hippies 04:23
HIPPIES Dude man, just mellow out on the chill The fuck is wrong with society? We should start our own society I could bake bread I'll churn butter I can play the didgeridoo The didgeridoo That's some good didj We're just totally misunderstood People just don't feel the music anymore jump on a trampoline put on a birkenstock do sommersaults, have fun man Ya know, create a soup get a wet noodle or two JAM ON ACID, but if you're not into that why don't you try... MOLLY (try it) SMOKING POTS Pure MDMA Dude where did the tunes go don't you like that didj I hear the didj, where are the tunes MORE TUNES, WHAT THE FUCK MORE TUNES NOOOOOOOOOO NOT THOSE FUCKIN TUNES Not fuckin mellow dude Not fuckin mellow I'm totally gonna ditch on this angry fucking scene and go save some fuckin trees And we will fight For those who can't fight back CANT FIGHT BACK It's the trees Stop cutting them please YOU'RE CUTTING THEM DEEP Why do you cut FIGHT What can't cut back CANT FIGHT BACK MOTHER EARTH It's your mother obey her 1,2,3,4 Gonna save the world if I get a chance with my PCP and my DIRTY PANTS Crunchy grooves and didgeridoos and everybody claps their hands everybody I got four cases full of live CDs ain't no corporate fat cats can influence me I only listen to Trey's crunchiest shit, so grab a hacky sack if you down with it COME ON JAM I'm over by the creek and throwin the Beat With LSD, Trey and my man Jerry G I hate wearin shoes and I'm fightin the man and everybody claps their hands everybody! All the ladies want a piece of big Z cause (??) I keep it so fresh and now you know why I smoke to get high and not to die Please don't smoke to die. Smoke that Dankity smoke to get high. (x3)
11.
John McCain 04:54
JOHN MCCAIN Hey my man, why don't you break me off some o that ass shakin funky shit Gather round my brothas and sistas as I tell you the tale Of a Maverick that rode into town on a horse named GREATNESS The baddest man in town who came here to put the economy on it's back and put his boot up the ass of our enemies. Champion of Foreign policy, popper of bottles in da club Talkin bout my man John McCain Cause it's John McCain It's John McCain Got tortured in Vietnam, don't you wanna see what he can do he's John Johnny boy...Johnny Boy McCain CAIN Wooooo Grab your partner do cee do Its the McCain hoedown yippee yo Light your pipe and pick your strings get out the way for John McCain Heel and Toe and Do cee do It's techno John McCain John McCain will make you dance And all the ladies squirt their pants John Ma-Cain my friends (x4) Take the blue pill Take the red pill Ladies and gentleman in the VIP room I would like to thank John McCain When he's not saving the economy or crushing the Cong He's in the club, the VIP room partying his gargantuan patriotic balls off So get on the train or get outta the way We're all just raisin McCain We're all just raisin McCain Everywhere across the USA So get on the train or get outta the way We're all just raisin McCain John McCain As a maverick I got my taste in jazz I appreciate a lick or two From Hannoi, tortured as a baby boy Black and Blue I'm gonna rip off some dirty jazz shit for you La bap bap bap bap I just improv'd you told ya I was a maverick Grandpa you wanna talk about torture, are you making waffles again? You may be a hero of modern American times but you're no hero of the waffle iron gramps you silly goose so pour yourself a glass a milk and sit back in your favorite chair watch your favorite episode of matlock and let me make the waffles ya silly grandpa you Cause it's John McCain It's John McCain
12.
Poop Groove 05:55
POOP GROOVE Said WAYOOOO You wanna poop all dayooo You wanna take your time Cause poop is on the line One more time there's poop on the line when there's poop on the line, you wanna spend your time YAAAYOOO (x2) I spent three hours on the toilet yesterday contemplating life, impossible decisions The fairy tale of poop characters dancing to the beat I said, I gotta get outta this place man Go to California, I hear the poop over there flows like wine. But, here I'm stuck with CONSTIPATION (x4) DOOKIE STINKS (x4) WE MAKE DOOKIE STINKS AND WE PUT THEM IN THE SINK (x2) Boy there is something seriously wrong wit yo head You know what you gotta do you gotta get up off that toilet You gotta play dat guitar...and poop on them strings (Spanish part translated) I once pooped in my sister's mouth The guitar is great for poop stain playing I do it for the population I once pooped in a train station Poop is the essence of communication Said WAYOOOO You wanna poop all dayooo You wanna take your time Cause poop is on the line Are you runnin out of poop, do you want some of mine Are you runnin out of poop, I ain't got no time Are you runnin out of poop, do you want some of mine Are you runnin out of poop, I sound like Sublime Make sure you wipe once or twice, cause you're better safe than sorry (x2)
13.
Outlaw Hell 05:27
OUTLAW HELL ...jews I'm a lonely outlaw after sundown I raise some hell and ruin this town I'm drinking whiskey and smoking greens I'm bangin horses and tumbleweeds Shreiff's comin and he's wearin a frown He aims his shooter and guns me down HOLY JACKRABBITS AND JUMPFIRES I shot him down in cold blood I hope he burns in hell OUTLAWS BURN IN OUTLAW HELL BUT YOU WONT GO IF YOU AVOID THESE COWS AVOID THESE COWS AVOID THESE COWS THESE ARE SATAN'S COWS SATAN'S COWS GO MOOOOOOOO Greetings, you've entered the waiting room of Saint Lucifer Satanicus Don't be confused sugar, this is the real hell and you will now be tortured for all of eternity I know it sounds bad, but hey it's only Polka Hell, you'll get used to it. Answer the telephone. Speak to the gentlemen on the other line. Hello, this is the Polka Devil's executive assistant and he wanted me to inform you that he's very sorry he can't get to you right now. So he's gonna have to re-incarnate you. But, you're not goin back to Wisconsin We're gonna need to put you on a comprehensive polka hell workout program GET U SOOOOMME Ring Ding Are you with me? Side to side and down and up Everybody do the demon bump! One and two and three and four Worship Satan more and more! With the bump....The Demon bump Reincarnation level complete and you know what we're gonna reincarnate you as? A surfer...I know outlaws don't like surfers ironic...hmmmmmmm? Surfs up mothafucka Huh...should we go...to the HAAAAA I'm drinking whiskey and smoking greens I'm bangin horses and tumbleweeds I'm a lonely outlaw after sundown I raise some hell and I ruin this town ....outro....
14.
Hey Skip, what the H-E-double hockey sticks are we gonna do tonight?? Well Reginald, we can go to the Jack Johnson laser light show, the Swamp Planetarium, or drop by the stamp collectors expo. Nuts to that. Can't we do something a little more EXTREEEEME? Race fans! Load up your flask, Get your ass down to Gainesville Raceway for Tire squealin Saturday! Alachua's most RAD demolition action. School bus Smashemups! Sprint Car (??), Death defying Segway races, (VROOM!) All drivers will be ON FIRE AT ALL TIMES! (Ow Owww) Bring the kids, bring the wife, bring your DAD! Oh Pish Posh, I have a cricket match on Saturday... FUCK YOU DAD! Get there early for nickel hot dogs and 2 for 1 Moonshine slammers! (woooo doggy) First 50 race fans get to kick a Jeff Gordon lookalike in the nuts! (OW) Tire squealin Saturday, the most Assphalt kickin time in Alachua! This Saturday at Gainesville Raceway. Gainesville Raceway, it's EXTREEEEEEEEEME! (Gainesville Raceway is not responsible for any spectator related injuries, 7 drink minimum for adults, 4 for 18 and under. Arrive alive, don't drink and driiiiiiiive)
15.
Club Club 00:48
Tired of weak drinks, soft beats and dry puss? Then come down to Club Club (Club Club) where on Thursdays, ladies drink free after 8 (mmmm!) Friday and Saturday is our "Rape em if ya got em" special...you bring the chicks...We'll bring the Ketamine! At Club Club (Club Club) we SLAM your holes full of the most killer beats. Provided by none other than the world famous DJ Deliverance. If the day ends in a "Y" it's 3 dollar pitchers and 1 dollar glowsticks til close (AW YEAH) Don't forget our extensive food menu featuring the Club Club Club! (Mmhmmm) Club Club, located at 100 Southwest Main Street, Gainesville Florida! Club Club, JUMP IN THE FIREEEEEE!!! (21 and up with valid ID, don't end up like Princess Di. Don't drink and drive)
16.
Hey Kids! Are you ready for a SUPER ROCK N ROLL FUN TIME??? (yeah!!) Pick up a guitar and SHRED!!! It's super rock n' roll fun time!!! Ya know what?? And it's comin for YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! Super kick ass rock n' roll mothafuckin fun time Super kick ass rock n' roll mothafuckin fun time If you don't pick up a guitar...FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!! Super kick ass rock n' roll mothafuckin fun time (YEAH) Super kick ass rock n' roll mothafuckin fun time Shredding is FUN!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

credits

released March 8, 2011

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Mark Hawkins - vocals, guitar, bass, keyboards, drum programming, satan

Matt Henderson - vocals, guitar, bass, keyboards, satan

Christopher T. Bottomsworth - vocals, bass

Jake Hohenzollern - keyboards, vocals

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Artwork by: Mike C. Bauer
www.facebook.com/MCBauerDesigns

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